BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
21 Years
341 Days
and
60318 Haikus
later...
two sets of footprints
Leading to the outhouse door
These footprints smell bad
Haiku #60318, by Detective Brownshoe of Outhouse
October 20, 2018 2:25 am ET

The way I see it
No such thing as Bad Haiku
It's all good, my friend
Haiku #60317, by Anonymous Poet
October 20, 2018 2:22 am ET

Pinching off a loaf
Putting glaze on your donut
Twisting his cruller
Haiku #60316, by Busy Baker
October 20, 2018 2:17 am ET

Sketching your likeness
From afar. Hope you don't mind.
I added a mole
Haiku #60315, by John Boy Walton's Mole of Mass MoleCA
October 20, 2018 12:33 am ET

Aluminum Lids
From your trash cans. CRASH! CRASH!
Learn to play cymbals
Haiku #60314, by One man nude parade of Police station now
October 19, 2018 11:40 pm ET

This gozinta that
In and out and in and out
How we multiply
Haiku #60313, by Blair Warner of Facts of Life
October 19, 2018 11:37 pm ET

Far Side: Nothing there
Except a McChitterlings.
Go to Jupiter!

It has a red dot
Trying to imitate me
And my handsomeness
Haiku #60312, by Roving Reporter John Boy Walton's mole of McChitterlings
October 19, 2018 11:32 pm ET

Hair Stylist Missing
Police combed the area
Searched thick brush for clues
Haiku #60311, by Drunk on comb fluid of Under the table
October 19, 2018 11:26 pm ET

Manic depression
Drinking boat load of red wine
I am not naked
Haiku #60310, by Noah Ben Noah of Somewhere Over The Rainbow
October 19, 2018 9:39 pm ET

Remote view the moon
Far side in particular
Expecting report
Haiku #60309, by Sparklepony, MD of happy to not have been turned into glue
October 19, 2018 9:32 pm ET

Improved reception
When I'm standing by the sink
You are quite handsome
Haiku #60308, by Anonymous Poet
October 19, 2018 8:25 pm ET

Endangered Feces
Help Us Save the Chitterlings
And Their Habitat
Haiku #60307, by Nosy
October 19, 2018 7:42 pm ET

Remote view R V
Feel hairs on your arm stand up
Got my eye on you
Haiku #60306, by Anonymous Poet
October 19, 2018 7:29 pm ET

Trouser Trout again?
Pan fried/glow worm reduction
Button Fly Fishing
Haiku #60305, by Trouser Trout Fishing with Ted Williams and Richard Brautigan and again and again of In America
October 19, 2018 7:21 pm ET

Too extreme for you?
"Eat lead" double entendre.
Mining pollution.

Google birth defects
from mercury found in fish.
Mostly Japanese.
Haiku #60304, by df of mic drop
October 19, 2018 6:12 pm ET

Oh Farth Digpucker,
I have choice words for your soul--
But I must not speak.
Haiku #60303, by the banks of that beautiful river, we shall meet one day
October 19, 2018 6:06 pm ET

Sushi submarine.
No mayo in this sandwich.
Roe and wasabi.

Madder than hatters.
Exceeds daily allowance.
Mercury fish balls.

Deformed, retarded,
Birth defect offspring off chutes.
From yuppies' raw fish.
Haiku #60302, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 19, 2018 5:46 pm ET

Lamenting virgin
Every time you enter tight
Proffer ecstasy
Haiku #60301, by Ledge of Kentucky
October 19, 2018 5:45 pm ET

Between your wanton
legs lies the truth of my very
indecisive mind
Haiku #60300, by Ledge of Kentucky
October 19, 2018 5:35 pm ET

Ordered tuna sub
There's no tuna in this sub
Threw it at your head
Haiku #60299, by Bullseye. We call it a grinder
October 19, 2018 4:39 pm ET

One took over line
We smoked salmon for dinner
Hard to keep it lit
Haiku #60298, by Now hacking cough of Paranoid
October 19, 2018 12:52 pm ET

Implored ex-limo.
Defenestrated mustard.
Poupon, but of course.
Haiku #60297, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 19, 2018 5:39 am ET

Reliving my youth
Standing on top of dresser
Jump off. Land on bed
Haiku #60296, by Pantsload
October 19, 2018 3:02 am ET

That's not giving up
Giving up is disregard
For true ambitions
Haiku #60295, by Wheely Joe of round and round it goes
October 19, 2018 3:00 am ET

Fake cough in their hand
While yelling "Blow Job! Blow Job!"
At school assemblies
Haiku #60294, by Alumni of Memory Lane
October 19, 2018 2:57 am ET

I want to give up.
Buy a farm and plow the earth.
Have a plantation.

Fruits, vegetables,
orchards, apples, peaches, figs.
Especially figs.

Ripe, soft, sweet brown figs.
Sell them in farmer's markets
to discerning chefs.

Dirt on my blue jeans.
Soil under my nails.
Proud and defiant.

They'd see me and say,
"That's one dirty little fig
plucker." Har har har.
Haiku #60293, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 19, 2018 2:25 am ET

Pig shit smells so bad.
Who the fuck first ate "chitlins"?!?!
Should be called "shitlins".

Cook that shit outside!
Right now you nasty dumb bitch!
Unforgivable!
Haiku #60292, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 19, 2018 1:07 am ET

*Walton's, not Watson's.
Dammit I suck on keyboards.
Sticky warts be bad.
Haiku #60291, by
October 19, 2018 1:01 am ET

You should not complain!
I've known many shaving cuts.
Mary Ellen's warts.
Haiku #60290, by Mary Ellen Watson's genital warts. of You'll only see me on special director's cuts.
October 19, 2018 12:58 am ET

John Boy Walton's mole
"That bastard tried to cut me
Every time he shaved."
Haiku #60289, by Walton's Mountain
October 18, 2018 10:57 pm ET

Pigfuckery skills
politico manifest
humpability
Haiku #60288, by pooterificus unanimous
October 18, 2018 10:52 pm ET

Interrupted kiss
Clunk. Cast Iron frying pan
Just desserts tonight
Haiku #60287, by Marriage whisperer of Pacific Northwest
October 18, 2018 9:16 pm ET

first there is a mount
ain then there is no mountain
then there's krispy kremes
Haiku #60286, by goku of stupid haiku uno
October 18, 2018 7:27 pm ET

Feeling rather proud.
Just killed a huge mosquito.
May have it mounted.

But then guess what now...
School's playing twerk tunes again.
Vo-Tech stripper jobs.

They might as well just
flat out teach prostitution.
Their best career choice.
Haiku #60285, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 18, 2018 7:03 pm ET

Let us sing praises.
Contemplate savior Beavis.
He pooped for your sins.
Haiku #60284, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 18, 2018 6:54 pm ET

You forgot titties,
twat waffles, dog turds, pigs, and
snuffleupagus.
Haiku #60283, by DARTH FIGPUCKER is sick of people who are sick of people.
October 18, 2018 6:50 pm ET

Fart, vomit, penis:
all I read at this website
it's just not worth it
Haiku #60282, by sick of all of you
October 18, 2018 6:22 pm ET

He was not the man
He had been the night before
He had no penis
Haiku #60281, by Anonymous Poet
October 18, 2018 5:01 pm ET

That fart was my friend
But he had to mosey on
Time to eat more beans
Haiku #60280, by Friendless Friend of Friendly Neighborhood
October 18, 2018 4:49 pm ET

Used to live there
I thought we smoked it all up
Ate all the Cheezies
Haiku #60279, by Thetis Lake Monster of Undisclosed
October 18, 2018 10:34 am ET

Laughing at hoofprints
New horse in my living room
Handsome Hawkeye Pierce
Haiku #60278, by Starkitten of Living room with new foal
October 18, 2018 3:43 am ET

Subdued Excitement
Taming unwanted boner
Live Weather Report
Haiku #60277, by Weatherman with unwanted boner of On Air
October 18, 2018 3:37 am ET

Medicinal scones
A decidedly High Tea
At 4:20 sharp
Haiku #60276, by Herb
October 18, 2018 3:33 am ET

Always a challenge
Hopping up on the barstool
Drink til I fall off
Haiku #60275, by Drunk of Barstool
October 18, 2018 3:27 am ET

Hey man I'm sorry
I didn't mean to flush it
Your prize winning turd
Haiku #60274, by Flusher of Terlit
October 18, 2018 3:21 am ET

Hard Wood floor perverse
Haiku #60273, by Anonymous Poet
October 18, 2018 12:25 am ET

message from the floor
I like looking up your dress.
Walk on me... spike heels!
Haiku #60272, by Carpet Section of Home Depot
October 18, 2018 12:23 am ET

Heated seats and farts
A wet bratwurst sulphur slaw
Tailgating. Go Team!
Haiku #60271, by Janitors who hates this life of They don't call them bleachers for nothing
October 18, 2018 12:16 am ET

she said people say
things are ironic that aren't
it's quite ironic
Haiku #60270, by goku!
October 17, 2018 8:35 pm ET

Huge bowel movement.
Dump so big, my soul feels purged.
Flush those sins away.
Haiku #60269, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 17, 2018 7:39 pm ET